Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my being single is dangerous.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
