he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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