So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
