another moral hangover. fuck.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need to wash the frat house off of me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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