what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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