it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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