screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
