Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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