yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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