she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
