Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
