Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My breasts were aching with rage.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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