Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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