I'm lost and stupid without you.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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