According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
