This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
