you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
