i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize