I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
