my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i want to swaddle you in tequila
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
