I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
