Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
