quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize