Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
