Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm experimenting with sincerity
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize