Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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