Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
