I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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