I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
