Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
