fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
