what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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