were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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