Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
