Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
