I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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