Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
