Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
