do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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