hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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