i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
