so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
