my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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