I am spending my child support on dildos
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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