I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize