There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
