dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
