Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Everyone says I win the strip club
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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