Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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