I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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