I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Randomize
