We won't sleep together?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
