I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
