he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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