Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you win again, gameday.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
