nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
