I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
