Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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