What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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