why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize