you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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