he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize