this beer tastes like vomit already
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
