I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
