I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Come on in and take your pants off
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