Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
